Why Didn’t God Answer my Prayer?
This is an important question!
Often, when we feel as though God did not answer our prayer, we get discouraged, cynical, and mad. We often blame God for not answering our prayers the way we wanted Him to do it. But are there reasons some prayers don’t seem to get answered? Yes. If we will keep a humble, honest and a teachable heart, here are a few reasons to consider: >> Are you in unbelief? This is a big consideration. Everything God does He does in response to belief––or faith. The Bible tells us that without faith, it’s impossible to please Him. Faith is essential. However, sometimes, we think we are praying “in faith,” but really, we are praying “in hope.” While hope is great and a first step toward faith––it is not faith. Faith is what God has promised to answer. What’s the difference? When we are “in faith,” we know we have the petition we have requested.
It’s a done deal. When we are “in hope,” we hope God will answer our prayer soon. Faith is now. Hope is future. This is a small yet huge distinction. So, sometimes the best thing to do when we are not in faith, but in hope (and wrestling with doubts and unbelief) is to NOT pray––but rather, get into the Word until hope turns to faith––and faith fills our hearts. Then we can pray!
The Bible tells us that if we ask God for something and are double-minded or in doubt, we shouldn’t expect to receive anything at all: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways” (James 1:5-8). Thankfully, we can fix the unbelief problem by doubling up in the Bible and allowing God and His Word to fill our hearts with faith.
>> Do you lack humility? This is another biggie. Sometimes our prayers are not from a place of humility, but from a place of entitlement. While the Lord loves to bless us as His children, He resists the proud. It’s hard to get answers from God when we are proud and God is resisting us! Here is what James the brother of Jesus says, “‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (James 4:6-8). The good news is that we can fix a pride problem by humbling ourselves before the Lord and others.
>> Are you walking in love? When we are not walking in love toward others, our own hearts know it. We feel a sense of condemnation within because we know we are harboring unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, resentment, or ill will toward another person. When we have any of these things in our heart our faith is hindered, the Bible tells us, “Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment” (1 John 3:21-23). Thankfully, we can fix this prayer hinderance by forgiving and loving. We don’t have to love what others have done, but we can choose to forgive and love them as He has loved us. When we do this, our heart won’t condemn us, and we will have confidence in prayer.
>> Is your request selfish? When we pray about things with selfish motives, God cannot answer our prayers. For example, we once talked to a woman who wanted to pray God would give her another woman’s husband! Everything about that request is selfish, and of course God would not answer it. Most of us would not pray something so obviously selfish, but it’s a good practice to check our own hearts when we pray to clean out any selfish motives. Listen to James 4:2-3 NLT, “You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.”
>> Are you praying according to God’s will? When we pray for something that is not God’s will, He won’t hear our request, and He cannot answer it. If we pray for something and we don’t know if it is God’s will, it’s hard to have faith (the best we can have is hope) and again, God doesn’t answer the prayers of hope; He answers the prayers of faith. Often, we pray too quickly from our emotions, anger, anxieties, or frustrations rather than from faith and knowing God’s will. But, if we will take time to get into God’s Word to discover His will for areas of our lives, we can pray prayers that He can answer: “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him” (1 John 5:14,15).
>> Are you in a lifestyle of sin? Thank God that because of Jesus our sins are forgiven, and we’ve been made “the righteousness of God in Christ.” Because of Jesus, our sins (past, present, and future) have been forgiven, so we can live in the freedom from condemnation this brings! However, if we want to live in sin (not what we define as sin but what God defines as sin), we have to ask ourselves—why? Why would we want to displease the very One who took the punishment our sin deserved and has extended His grace and mercy to us? Furthermore, if we choose to live in sin (the thing that caused Jesus to go to the cross), should we expect Him to answer our prayers?
David experienced this dichotomy. After living in the sin of adultery and murder, his heart was full of guilt that weighed him down. Finally, he confessed his sin, and God forgave him. His heart was freed from sin and guilt, and after that it was easy for him to experience the joy of answered prayer, “Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!” (Psalm 32:1 NLT)
The Apostle Paul asks, “Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of His wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?” (Romans 6:1,2 NLT) If we don’t have an inherent desire to forsake sin and live a life that pleases the Lord, we may need to question the validity of our faith and salvation experience. “We know that God does not hear the prayers of sinners, but if anyone is a worshipper of God and does His will, God hears him” (John 9:31). God loves us, but He does not wink at sin. Thankfully, Jesus paid the wage our sin deserved, and now we can repent and turn to the Lord at any time––then we can pray with confidence from a pure heart free from condemnation.
>> Is there disunity in your marriage? Interestingly, Peter tells us this, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). When husbands (and wives) don’t live with one another in an understanding way––by understanding their differences and giving honor to one another––they do not access the “grace of life” God has provided for their marriage, so their prayers are hindered. If you are married, the best thing to do if you want your prayers to be answered is to understand, honor, and love your spouse.
