Standing in Faith Despite Disappointment & Loss

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

So, what about faith? That’s a good question!

And one that I (Charlie) have contemplated many times since we lost Beau. I’ll tell you right up front that we do not have all the answers, but I’ve laid out some thoughts about this journey of faith that have helped me, and I hope will help you as well.

First of all, as I looked at the eleventh chapter of Hebrews, I saw the great heroes of faith and the amazing things these men and women did by faith. It is quite astounding to read and then discover how the chapter ends with testimonies of some who did not see the victory on this side. Yet the Bible tells us, “These all died in faith, not having received the promises” (Hebrews 11:13). Scripture continues:

Others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection. Still others had trials of mocking and scourging, yes, and of chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented, of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the Earth. And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise, God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us. (Hebrews 11:35–40)

These great men and women of God died in faith! They were willing to lay down their lives for the Lord knowing God had a better place for them. They did not receive what was promised in this life, but by faith but they saw God’s deliverance. They saw in their hearts a time when Jesus would come and redeem mankind with His blood, making us righteous, holy, unblameable, and irreprovable in His sight.

They knew their faith would not be complete apart from us and this great salvation.

Although this promise is specifically referring to the salvation purchased for us through Christ, it clearly shows us that faith, in some cases, is more than seeing an answer to a prayer, but staying strong in the face of pain, disappointments, and even death.

Yes, “faith can move mountains,” and “all things are possible to them that believe!” But the Bible also shows us that some received their miracle on this side of Heaven, and some didn’t, but they all died in faith. It takes great faith to suffer through a painful or debilitating illness and keep your heart and mind on Jesus. It takes great faith to face death and continue to praise your God. That’s the other side of faith— standing in the face of difficulties and trusting the Lord, no matter the outcome.

It reminds me of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego when they answered the threats of King Nebuchadnezzar:

If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if He doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up. (Daniel 3:17–18 NLT)

Wow! That is some bold faith!

And notice Habakkuk’s declaration, commonly called “A Hymn of Faith” (which inspired my song by the same title):

Though the fig tree may not blossom,

Nor fruit be on the vines;

Though the labor of the olive may fail,

And the fields yield no food;

Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,

And there be no herd in the stalls—

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will joy in the God of my salvation.

The Lord God is my strength;

He will make my feet like deer’s feet,

And He will make me walk on my high hills. (Habakkuk 3:17–19)

Now this is amazing faith, and it’s just like the faith of Paul— singing while in prison and encouraging us to rejoice in the Lord. Then we read about all the apostles who stood in faith throughout their persecuted lives and even as they faced their cruel deaths—they certainly died in faith!

 The morning of Beau’s death, Rick, a dear pastor friend, came to our home and said these poignant words, which we pondered for many months, and still do to this day: “There’s a faith to move mountains, and there’s a faith to stand when the mountain doesn’t move.”

He looked me in the eyes and said, “Charlie, that’s where you are right now!”

God knows how I cried out for the kind of faith to stand through this nightmare. Like Jeremiah, I lamented, “Everything I had ever hoped for is gone” (Lamentations 3:17 NLT). But somehow I had to believe that even though everything in me was broken, God would help me.

I wanted to run, and much of me did run, but I’m so thankful to God that He ran with me. His love and grace surrounded me even when I didn’t feel it or realize it. Yes, He was giving me faith to stand, and I really needed it, because our mountain of sickness and disease did not move.

In the natural we lost the most important battle of our lives. But, in light of Heaven and eternity, of course, we didn’t lose. The scripture says, “Death is swallowed up in victory” (1 Corinthians 15:54). Yes, even when it looks like we lost, thank God we really did win; ultimately, our son made it to Heaven and is living in the fullness of awesomeness, way beyond our imagination!

Like one minister who lost his daughter said to me in closing his email, “Congratulations on getting one of your kids to Heaven!”

Even if you lose the fight of faith for your loved one on this side, please know that you have not lost the entire battle. The enemy cannot claim ultimate victory, because he lost everything at the cross, and all he has left are lies and accusations. Even though all seems lost, you have not lost the entire battle.

In time our hearts began to heal, our eyes, after being so blurred with tears, became more opened, and we could rejoice in this truth. And so will you.

So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.”

“O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?”

The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, Who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:54–57)

Although we knew Beau had received the ultimate victory, it was still so difficult for us, living on this side of Eternity without him. We had to guard our hearts because we knew satan was trying to take us out just like he tried with Simon Peter. Jesus said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail.” (Luke 22:31–32)

Peter was one of Jesus’ closest disciples with a huge call on his life, and satan had it out for him. Jesus knew it and prayed for him in advance that his faith would not fail. Thank God, Peter’s faith did not fail in the end! Even after denying his Savior and Friend, weeping bitterly with shame (and I’m sure a lot of self-condemnation), he eventually was able to receive forgiveness from Jesus, and forgive himself as he moved forward into his powerful calling.

We are so grateful for our entire community of family, friends, and fellow ministers who kept us in prayer. I’m sure many were praying we would not lose our faith. Although it may have appeared we did for a time, thank God we did not (at least not for too long!). Yes, like Peter we wept bitterly and wavered. It was a difficult time of trying to reconcile everything that happened. But eventually, and completely by the grace of God, we got back on our feet. Jesus said,

“The blessing of Heaven comes upon those who never lose their faith in Me, no matter what happens.” (Luke 7:23 TPT)

Speaking of not losing your faith no matter what, let’s look closer at Paul’s life of faith. Nothing would move this man, no matter what came against him:

I have worked much harder for God, taken more beatings, and been dragged to more prisons than they. I’ve been flogged excessively, multiple times, even to the point of death. Five times I’ve received thirty-nine lashes from the Jewish leaders. Three times I experienced being beaten with rods. Once they stoned me. Three times I’ve been shipwrecked; for an entire night and a day I was adrift in the open sea. In my difficult travels I’ve faced many dangerous situations: perilous rivers, robbers, foreigners, and even my own people. I’ve survived deadly peril in the city, in the wilderness, with storms at sea, and with spies posing as believers. I’ve toiled to the point of exhaustion and gone through many sleepless nights. I’ve frequently been deprived of food and water, left hungry and shivering out in the cold, lacking proper clothing. (2 Corinthians 11:23–27 TPT)

Wow. Just wow! I can hardly imagine how hard that would have been, but by the unceasing, empowering grace of God, he never lost his faith.

We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:8–9)

Paul’s mountains were not moving, but thank God, he had faith to stand when the mountain didn’t move. When he prayed three times for a thorn in the flesh to be removed, which was a messenger from satan, the Lord answered, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Thankfully, He does give sufficient grace to help us in our time of need.

But some still ask, “Charlie, what happened? How could this happen? What went wrong?” I have chased a lot of questions, theories, opinions and rabbit trails to find answers to this,

but they all seem to have holes in them. Our friend Andrew describes it this way: “Opinions are like noses, everybody has one, and they usually have a couple of holes in them.” Well said!

Trust me, I have spent countless hours studying God’s Word and praying about these questions, and I had determined from the start I would never let my experience determine my doctrine or my theology. Instead, I prayed that I would only let the Word of God dictate what I believe. So the more I studied, the more I began to see once again that Jesus is truly the Healer, and He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Honestly, it took quite a while to get back to this. For the first few years I could hardly read some of the Bible’s “red letters” of Jesus’ healing ministry, because it confused and frustrated me to see Him healing someone else’s child and not mine. I hope you can understand this; I’m just being real here. But even though I still didn’t fully understand exactly why my son didn’t experience healing on this side of Heaven, I still saw clearly that Jesus was and always will be the Great Physician, He is the compassionate Healer, He did carry our sicknesses and diseases, and with His stripes we are healed. (1 Peter 2:24)

So, I finally made a choice to live in what I did know and not in what I didn’t. I had to give the questions a rest and trust that someday I will understand, even if it means in Heaven. This is really the best and healthiest way to move forward in life, especially after a devastating loss.