Watchman Parenting: How to Partner with God & Guard Your Home

Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep (Psalm 127:1-2).

Building a family, like building a house, requires certain skills.

It requires foundational truths that only God can provide. God set parents as watchmen over their children. God won’t raise children independent of us, and it is extremely unwise for us to raise them independent of Him. We can’t do it. We lose sleep and eat the bread of sorrows. But with God’s engagement—with His help and instruction—we can fulfill our appointment as parents. We don’t need to worry about our children or be filled with anxiety over them. We can cast our care on the Lord (1 Peter 5:7) knowing He empowers us in our parental responsibilities.

God wants us to experience peace as we serve as watchman over our children’s lives. The key is balance. Proverbs 11:1 (KJV) says, “A false balance is an admonition to the Lord: but a just weight is his delight.” We can get in a ditch on either side of the road regarding our ministry as parents and the best method for effective parenting. Some parents are disengaged. They do not understand the importance of being a watchman for their kids. They allow digital media to raise them, and the wolves and lions of this world devour their children.

Others are “helicopter parents.” They smother their children, even into adulthood. They try to control them through manipulation and worry. We need to avoid these ditches. Remember, for every mile of road traveled, there is a mile of ditch on both sides. That makes two miles of ditches for every mile of wisdom and understanding. Only through partnership with God and His Word can we remain balanced.

The first thing we need to know to maintain balance is that God loves our kids. His heart is for us and our families. Children are near and dear to God’s heart. Yet they are the only thing God did not create independent of man. Think about that. Everything God created He created in maturity. There was no baby Adam or Eve. The first people were created full grown, mature adults who could be “fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:26-28). It is as if God didn’t want to raise teenagers. (I can see the wisdom in that!) Even the promised Messiah came through partnership with man. Mary had to believe before she could receive the promised Seed and bring forth the Holy Child, Jesus (Luke 1:26-38).

Despite this, we see God’s love for children throughout scripture. In Matthew 18 the disciples asked Jesus a question:

At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, and said, Verily I say unto you, except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:1-4 KJV).

Think about their question: Who is the greatest in God’s kingdom? What would we say?

A preacher or TV evangelist with a large following? Maybe a missionary who gave their life on a foreign field? Perhaps they thought Jesus would single out one of them. But the answer Jesus gave likely stunned the disciples. He said the greatest in God’s kingdom was a child.

Wow.

Children are full of faith and humility. They are eager to learn; eager to believe. Their imaginations are unparalleled. Children believe animals talk, rabbits lay eggs, and reindeer fly. They believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Leprechauns—why not the life of Jesus? Jesus’ life is much more miraculous than fairy tales. Jesus walked on water. He calmed storms, raised the dead, opened blind eyes, and caused the lame to walk. He fed more than 5,000 people with a little boy’s lunch! Our children have faith to believe these marvelous, miraculous acts of God really happened. They can believe Jonah really was swallowed by a big fish; that Daniel spent the night with lions and wasn’t eaten; that Moses really split the Red Sea and Elijah called an axe head up from the bottom of a river. Part of our job as watchmen is to protect a child’s natural ability to believe.

We are also called to protect our children’s moral innocence. In Luke 17:1-2 (NLT), Jesus says to His disciples, “There will always be temptations to sin, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting! It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck then to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin.” Our culture sets stumbling blocks before children every day. I am appalled at the number of people who are not just inviting children to sin but are taking pleasure in pulling them into sin. I grieve over what they are doing.

Recently, while in Israel, I saw an ancient millstone. Its diameter was nearly as tall as I am! Can you imagine something that size pulling you into the depths of the sea? I cannot think of a more horrific death or a more fitting judgment for harming a child.

As watchmen, we must protect our children from the death and darkness of the world. We must honor God’s love for them, for they are special. Their childlike faith reminds us that all things are possible to those who believe (Matthew 17:20, 19:26; Mark 9:23). Children encourage us to set aside doubt, to forget about probability or natural law and “only believe” (Mark 5:36; Luke 8:50). They inspire us to believe that miracles still happen; that God is the good Father who delights in meeting His children’s needs (Romans 8:32-35).