Dodie Osteen’s Prayer Legacy: How to Pray Effectively When God Doesn’t Answer

Just because something is simple, doesn’t mean it’s easy. Don’t confuse the two.

Is it simple to go to the gym five times a week? Sure. Is it easy? Nope. Now spiritually speaking, is it simple to cultivate disciplines of prayer and Bible reading? Is it simple to love your enemies? Is it simple to speak words of life rather than divisiveness? Yes, yes, and yes. Is it easy? Nope, nope, and nope.

Peter and the church do incredibly simple but difficult things while waiting for life-altering answers. They are things we must do while we wait. And let me be clear, they’re not vague. You will be able to know very quickly if you are acting these things out. With that said, let’s get to Peter’s story and look at these actions.

Uncommon Prayer

Acts 12:5 (NIV) says, “So Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him.” I know what you’re thinking, Okay, the church was praying…so what? I’d be praying too if my friend was in jail. I hear you. However, to understand why this is so powerful you can’t just read verse 5, you have to read the start of the chapter as well. Acts 12:1-2:

It was about this time that King Herod arrested some who belonged to the church, intending to persecute them. He had James, the brother of John, put to death with the sword.

You know why the church’s prayer for Peter impresses me? Because James was just put to death in jail. It’s one thing to pray for Peter. It’s another thing to pray for Peter after James was just in the exact same situation and was murdered.

You don’t think the church was praying for James too? You don’t think they cried out to God saying, “Oh, Lord! He’s doing Your will. Protect him!” You don’t think the church even prayed prayers they saw in the Psalms about God delivering them from the presence of their enemies? Of course, they did all those things! And what happened? James died. God answered their prayer with an answer they didn’t want. And what happened? They kept. On. Praying. And not little timid prayers. The Bible says they prayed earnestly.

That word earnestly means “fervently and constantly.” It’s the same Greek word used to describe Jesus’ prayer in Luke 22:44. You remember that prayer? That’s the one when Jesus prayed so earnestly that drops of blood fell as sweat. The prayer that gave Him the strength to die on a cross, descend to hell, and still utter the words, “Not My will but Yours be done.” Yeah, that’s the kind of “earnest” prayer I’m talking about. That prayer is uncommon.

It’s very common for people to roll out of bed without praying at all. It’s even more common for people to give 15 minutes a morning that’s half devoted to the Bible on their phone and half devoted to the random notifications that pop up while reading. It’s also common for people to worry out loud to God and label it a prayer.

I think it’s uncommon to put the distractions away, get the Word out, pray with conviction, and encounter heaven until we’re changed on the inside. I’m talking about the type of encounter that reminds you prayer isn’t about getting God to do your will in heaven, it’s about Him getting you to do His will on earth. It’s that kind of prayer where you somehow, by God’s grace, find the strength to utter, “not my will but Yours be done.” That’s the kind of prayer the early church was praying, even in the midst of disappointment.

I’m inspired by the church’s earnest prayer, because I’m not sure I would have kept praying earnestly. Would I have prayed earnestly for James? Yeah! For Peter? I don’t know. Earnest prayer after disappointing answers is tough. But the church didn’t let anything negative grow in the middle of unanswered prayer.

We have to be so careful about what grows in the middle of unanswered prayer. What happened to you when God didn’t answer your prayer about your parents staying together? What happened to you when God didn’t answer your prayer for healing like you thought He should? What happened to you when God didn’t answer your prayer about getting into the school you wanted, finding the relationship you thought was perfect, or bringing your kid back to Him yet? It’s easy to pray for James. It’s hard to pray for Peter.

Pay attention to what grows in the middle of unanswered prayers. Some of us get more cynical toward God. “Yeah, He works for some people I guess, but not me.” Some of us get angry. “He doesn’t care about me.” But I love this church in Acts—even though God didn’t answer their prayer about James as they thought He would, they’re still earnestly praying while waiting on an answer regarding Peter. It’s like the devil took his best shot, and they kept fighting. What can the devil do with someone who has faith like that?

You may be waiting. You may even be disappointed in your wait. The following is an action every one of us can take before we get our answer (or when we get an answer we don’t like)…

Actions to Take Before Answers Arrive

I’ve been blessed to have uncommon prayer modeled to me. My mom is a praying machine. I can’t tell you the amount of times I was just trying to go to first grade and couldn’t get out of the car without a loud plea for angels to “guide, guard, protect, and direct” me. I don’t care how tired we were, we weren’t going to bed without Mom praying for us. One time, I was doing something really dumb—like “easily could have killed me” dumb—at 2 a.m. My mom texted me at 2 a.m., “Hey G, praying for you. I feel like God’s telling me you’re doing something dumb.” She’s the type of mom who would fake going to the bathroom to get away from four little tornado children so she could get a quick prayer in. And if I went to her closet and it was shut, the gates of heaven weren’t. She had that uncommon prayer.

Her mom was an uncommon pray-er, too. My grandma is kind of a big deal. Her name is Dodie Osteen. More than 40 years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. She was given three weeks to live. You know what she did? Prayed. And prayed. And prayed. Each time she went back to the doctor, she was expecting a good report. But each time, she got a worse one. Did that stop her? Nope. She prayed and prayed and prayed. One day, feeling hopeless, she took out her Bible and stood on it. She cried, “Lord, I don’t know what else to do. So I am literally standing on Your Word.” She was given three weeks to live.

Well, I don’t know if you noticed, but she wrote the foreword for this book. You know what that means? She lived a lot more life than the doctors thought. Now, that’s the part that most people celebrate. And no doubt, we should celebrate that! But when I tell the story, I tell it a little bit differently.

My grandfather was a great man of God. He frequently prayed over the sick and saw them healed. I’m proudly named after him! (My name is JOHN Geoffrey Graff ). Guess what? In 1999, he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Guess what he did? Prayed. And prayed. And prayed. Did he have faith? Absolutely! A large part of his life was dedicated to healing the sick! And guess what happened? He passed away that year.

My Grandmama passed away a couple weeks after the finishing of my book (right after she wrote the foreword to it)! You know what she did until her dying day, at 91 years old? She prayed for the sick. Sometimes she prayed in a little room at the church. Sometimes she prayed in the parking lot as people pulled up in her “drive-through prayer line.” Yeah, you read that right. Most people have drive-through lines for burgers. Grandmama had a drive-through line for prayer. Spiritually speaking, she was cold-blooded. And that’s why I have so much respect for her. While waiting for answers and even after receiving answers she didn't like, she would not quit praying.

The Church, My Grandmama, and You

It’s easy to pray for James. It’s hard to pray for Peter. It’s easy to pray when God heals you of cancer. It’s hard to pray when He lets your husband die of congestive heart failure. But for uncommon prayer warriors, the answer is less important than the encounter. What do I mean? Prayer is about that encounter with heaven that helps you accept what God gives and trust it’s for your best. Is it simple? Yes. Is it easy? No.

Uncommon prayer is the type of prayer that simply will not quit—because it knows that the God listening won’t quit. He may not have done everything you expected, but He’s working out something greater for your good and His glory. His will is always perfect and good, and it’s always more understood in retrospect.

I know you’re waiting, but have you quit praying? I mean earnestly praying. I mean that type of prayer that isn’t half-hearted because the other half of the heart is watching TV. I mean that type of desperate prayer that feels nothing, but you don’t quit. Instead, you study the Bible and other trusted resources on how to pray and you keep showing up to talk to God. I mean that type of prayer that realizes we must pray as if our life depends on it, because it does depend on it.

I’m going to talk to you how I talk to myself, and it’s only because I care about you. It’s time to get off your butt and get on your knees. God has a vision for your life. It’s not easy. Do you really believe apart from Jesus you can do nothing? If so, you pray. There will be valleys and mountains. Your life will involve picking up your cross. But the only way you will be fulfilled is to pick up that cross. And the only way you’ll have the power to pick it up is through the earnest prayer that ultimately ends in the most heartfelt, “not my will, but Yours be done.”

You can only truly mean those words after encountering God in prayer and being gripped by His loving Spirit. If you’re not praying like that, don’t expect to get through this waiting season well. What an example we have from the early church.